March 14th. I’m not going to forget this date. A year ago from right now, I was recovering from my cranitomy.* Urgh, that was a rough day. Not as rough as you might imagine but fairly rough nevertheless.
In the news today, we learned that Stephen Hawking has died. He and I vague crossing of paths many years ago. My second year halls overlooked the new Maths department and I used to peer out the window, very occasionally getting a glimpse of Cambridge’s most famous resident. Stephen Hawking is an inspiration if ever there was one. Age of 21, doctors expected him to live for only two more years. But Hawking had a form of the disease that progressed more slowly than usual. So the young Hawking and I have this one grave thing in common, facing a miserably short life-expectancy. I’m hoping to the Hawking of Low Grade Glioma, that I have the odd one that progresses very slowly. 76 is a good age. I’d be happy with that.
#”Those who live in the shadow of death are often those who live most” says Guardian’s Obituary. It’s a question that some of my friends have alluded to in conversation. I think it’s something people want to hear, there must be an upside, surely now I live life in the moment, to the fullest, appreciating every second with a new zest for life.
Harumph. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work like that for me. I would mostly like to forget all about it. Dwelling on the dooming, looming death doesn’t make me “live more” it just makes me live more miserably. Of course I did have a good old think about it and can honestly say that I have the most wonderful life with the most wonderful people in it. I love it, it’s amazing. That just makes it more sad though, not happier.
Right on with it… I sat down today to write a happy, positive post. 1 year on, it’s my “Craniversary”. This is a great day for 2 big reasons.
1) I survived the first year!
2) I’m allowed to drive again
Surviving the first year was always fairly likely, worthy of a minor celebration nevertheless. The driving thing is really exciting. Not being allowed to drive has been annoying, frustrating, debilitating and miserable. I’ve been really lucky, my friends and family have made up for it but driving me places and coming to visit but I still hated the lack of independence. Long days cooped up inside with the baby, attempting and failing to get jobs done whilst simultaneously failing to be a good parent.
So one year on and some other things to celebrate…. We (you!) raised over £23,000 toward brain tumour research. That’s amazing. It’s made me feel very loved and supported. Also, you never know, it might work. That’s the plan anyway! Thank you. Thanks for kind words and visits and general love. Give me a shout if you haven’t in a while. I like people, that’s why I don’t want to leave!
* It’s also two of my oldest friend’s anniversary, congratulations guys! The day after the wedding, 9 years ago I was staying over with another friend when I first met Dee (virtually, but that still counts). So clearly a special day for many reasons!